Audio Rant #2

So, you want to become one of the technical elite. You want to jump into some technical institute, grab as much computer knowledge as you can, and then shuck off the current pathetic job you have and make big bucks as a technician. You figure that a few months of intense computer training will imbibe you with the knowledge and experience you need to make you the kind of techie that companies the world over will

thirst for.

Well, I'm here to tell you that once you get done and make it into the real world, you're not going to amount to jack squat. Because, my good man, you've just done what every lost loser boy, aimless, wandering dimwit has done. Every time someone can't figure out what to do with their lives, they look at the world

and go, "Hey, everyone uses computers, I should too!" Never quite realizing the horrifying nightmare they've just dropped their life savings into, with little to no hope of return. Let me explain something to you, the fools, who think that you can shift out of your current career line and land in the computers up to your ass in cash.

You're living in a fucking dream world, okay?

I've been all about computers since I was a kid, I did this shit from day one. And no offense, you could be the smartest person alive, but I know more than you do. Yeah, yeah, it's true.

I'm not trying to boast, I'm simply telling you the facts. Because no matter where you go or who you learn from, you're never going to have the integral knowledge gained from hours upon hours of sitting in front of your devil box trying to get Master of Orion to play because you don't have enough high memory allocated. You can't replace the hours of frustrating training that all the computer nerds the world

over have from trying to get Word Perfect 5.1 to function without the benefit of some of the DOS system files needed. You haven't extracted VXD files from Windows cabs ever so slowly because you absolutely refuse to install everything again.

So when you're out there and these esoteric little issues crop up, you are going to fucking die. Like the army lieutenant who purchased his commission and has never seen a single battle before, you're going to look like an ass. And the sergeant of the company, the grizzled veteran who's seen more nasty situations than

you have birthdays, will have to pick up the slack and everyone will know how much of a chump you really are.

Not only that, but there's a million of you now.

That's right, there's a million. Everyone had the same idea.

So they jumped on the bandwagon and like the Donner Party, headed west in the hopes of being on the next big tech wave. Only there's not going to be the next big tech wave because there never should have been a big tech wave. And the aftermath of the said tech wave has left the world in a shit-can situation the

likes of which no one has seen in a dog's age.

So what do you do now?

Well, maybe you should have thought about it beforehand.

I don't think the thing nobody noticed is that the whole tech industry has been off the hook with the amount of fresh blood introduced to it, and the trades industry is pretty much up shit creek. There's a distinct lack of skilled trades people in Alberta, welders, carpentry, metallurgy, whatever.

The industries that need these people are paying top dollar for them now because they need them so badly.

So why don't you give up the romantic dream you have that you're going to be the next Bill Gates with tons of cash and little responsibilities other than figuring out who to blame for the fourth quarter numbers and get yourself a real fucking job. You're fitting the market for those of us who've committed to this life long, this life, a long time ago, and you're not good at it.

Save us all the grief and pain of killing you with a shovel and do the right thing.