R4NT Magazine

ARTICLE

Predictions 2003

by David Gluzman

Here are some predictions that I'm making up purely on a spur of the moment whim.

  • President Bush will not get any smarter.
  • China will become ever more powerful
  • Global warming will melt ALL the ice on the planet by 2004 *cough*
  • Popular Music will continue to suck
  • Sony will release the Playstation 3
  • I will continue to eat a lot of pasta
  • Bagels will continue to be purchased at Safeway until I move someplace that has better bagels.
  • The buck a day company will self destruct while stuck in a loop of watching their own shitty ass commercials.
  • Futureshop will continue to get closer towards burning in hell
  • Wal-Mart will continue to drop their prices
  • Costco will remain a madhouse
  • Stale bread will not taste better with more jam
  • Canada will turn into the next Amsterdam (see legalize it)
  • Computers will get faster
  • Eating too much spicy food will prove the "ring of fire" theory still applies
  • Enemas will continue to be feared
  • Women all over the world will continue to be insane
  • Men will continue hunt women for their lush offerings
  • Women will continue to hunt women for their lush offerings
  • Gay porn will still "not be cool"
  • Bottled water will go up in price
  • Macs and 7/11 will continue to get pissed off at you when you use a credit card to purchase 5 cent candies
  • The Gap will not change their advertising campaign
  • Singapore will instate the death penalty for bringing gum into their country
  • Copies of Microsoft Windows will continue to crash
  • The Xbox will continue to crash as well
  • And lastly, R4NT will continue until there is nothing worth saying anymore..
David Gluzman