F'off Stampede
by Crom
It's done. Only one sentiment filters through the fog that is my brain of late: Good Riddance. When I was a kid I used to head the stampede grounds every year, at least a couple of times. I'd stuff a corndog down my gullet, ride a few times, and then whittle away the hours (and my money) in the arcades. I obtained one of my longest standing possessions at the Stampede: My wallet. A black leather, Harley Davidson wallet, purchased from one of the kiosks run by toothless carny's. I've done things to this wallet that no personal article should ever have to withstand: laundry, hot tub, river, etc. I even tried losing it on several occaisions. Still despite this seemingly valuable object I remain stalwart in my hatred for the event.
X score and several years ago they had the Stampede and the World Rotarian Convention happen at the same time, in the same place: Calgary. So aside from the usual in flux of about 200,000 Stampede crazed assholes, we chucked another 150k of Rotarians into the mix. Needless to say this was not a good thing. Any time the political talking heads, and the Capitalist dogma technicians start talking about events like this, they all salavate as they project the exponential skyrocket in profits and cash flow that will bless the city for those 10 sweet, glorious days in summer. Never thinking for a minute about the impact it will have on the lives of everyone who has to live here the other 355 fucking days of the year. That convention/stampede fiasco was the only time in my life I've been injured on the C-Train, and it contributed greatly to my massive distrust of public transit. I only need the doors of the train to nearly break my shoulder once in my lifetime before they're number one on the deathlist.
We have a fairly generous amount of drunken assholes wandering the streets on a normal day, Stampede seems to encourage them to multiply and get (somehow) even more drunk. This is demonstrated in one of our favorite people (i won't say who to protect his manhood) almost breaking into tears, when the hour and a half of effort he put forth to get a cab home from cowboy's, was all for naught. Fortunately, Crom Livery Inc. was able to circumnavigate the extremely ass backwards nature of Calgary's road system near Cowboys, and retrieve him from the jaws of madness in time to enjoy perogees and unconsciousness.
The bottom line: I don't like Stampede. Regardless of cash flow or cultural investment. I fucking hate it when people disturb the natural order of my surroundings, and Stampede does that in spades. I hate the change in traffic, the change in activity. People will claim it's a result of my having no civic pride, which makes me upset. I don't judge my civic pride in how a rodeo goes, I judge it by my concern for our city. By how active I am in keeping it clean, keeping it on the level, by giving a shit about events that happened no where near my part of town, or even to people I could vaguely know. I embrace it by caring about the Silent Majority, who just want to sit on a patio, soak up some sun, and not have to hear some mother fucker yell "Yeehaw" seventy times a minute for 10 god damn days.