Terrorist Pizza
by Crom
Everytime you turn around now there's some article or expose showing some government lackey's faux pas with intelligence data, that ended up confusing something or someone within a terror watch group. The thing that confuses me everytime I see one, is that everyone is outraged or surprised.
What the hell?
When 9/11 went down, the pentagon boys and the military saddled up and rode out to kick ass in such a short time span that it made wiley fucking coyote look like a wheelchair bound marathon runner. In the aftermath of the knee jerk, kill-em-all, bomb the fuck outa the sand reaction, there was bound to be some "glitches" as they call them. One of the biggest freak outs is that certain terror suspects and indeed specifically sought after people, are often confused with other people within the NEXIS, CODIS and various other systems used to track known criminals and suspects, because the information is specious, or the names so close it's difficult to determine who's who. A racial man would say that all these "abu Afar needha's" all have the same name, not of course recognizing the difference between someone's name in that culture, and their lineage or title, but we savvy son's a bitches know that the reason it's hard for these DB's to get it right, is because they've been filled with stack of shit data.
When the whole building break went down the langley server farms buried under Granny's apple orchard all fired up and started tagging phone conversations, unencrypted emails, and IM's like a parkinsons patient with a paintball gun, and I guarantee a boat load of that information wasn't just extraneous, it was genuinely bullshit. Some guy with a fake arab accent tells his buddy he "farted a torpedo into my underpants, i'm president of the shit stained undies order. That taco place kills me, jihad for sure" and all of a sudden we have Al'hafar crap pants under surveillance, while the people on the sly sneak behind the "Flowers By Irene" van and go off to do nefarious shit. If these guys want to get medieval on those who are using information in equal parts as they use C4, then they need to get some outsiders who actually understand something about Data retrieval and linkage and get them to make the resources they use effecient and orderly. I can only imagine the government server rat they have keeping this stuff in order.
If they had any brains they would contract Google to re-organize all their intelligence data; they'd end armed conflict on earth in 20 minutes...
'course we'd all live in a democratic monarchy, but hey, I don't like thinking for myself anyways.