What happened to the Tunes?
by Crom
While driving home the other day, and being forced to listen to the radio, I actually slammed on the brakes in the midst of traffic. After the avalanche of squealing tires and grotesque expletives completed raining down on me, I was able to mentally articulate what had caused me to screech to a halt in the middle of Blackfoot.
A revelation. I have a lot of these, as evidenced by my constant reference to them, and this was no less paramount.
When did all popular musicians become raging fucking PUSSIES?!
Almost every song I was hearing, that wasn't an "oldie" (by the radio's terminology, apparently, i'm an old man. Fuck.), had some long drawn out bitching about the lives of the singers, followed by their appeal to the listener to help them. Take away my pills, let go of my pain, everything is fucked.
You guys are assholes. You are reprobates. And, you're making music into shit.
What happened to the long hairs, who would don tight pants, and get "Fuck the World" tattoo'd on the back of their hands, and then sing about doing Heroin and Fucking a whole lot of women? What happened to Mötley Crue? Why must every song that is being written and produced be some whiney bitch song about how miserable some pretty boy's life has become?
You are fucking pussies. Do everyone on earth a favor and walk in front of a fucking bus. Everyone's got a cross to bear, stop acting like you're fucking special.